We spoke
throughout the evening of things that bothered him, of his unique ways of
seeing Africa and some of their barbaric and unnecessary traditions, of the
heart of men and their evil thoughts as sharp as a samurai’s sword.
The night
began chilly and windy; the moon appeared glowing through the window, the
cricket were not left out with their chirping that sounded like they were all
over the room it was the like every other night but tomorrow? That was unknown,
i was taught that it gets pregnant today to give birth tomorrow and that all we
had to do was wait. Curse be upon the father of tomorrow for it bore a bastard
in my hands, a bastard I knew nothing of its origin, a bastard I was never going
to accept, a bastard the came with blood a cold as the winter snow ball, a
blood that mother earth was scared to accept, a blood that the million tears
that followed it couldn’t wash away, a blood that made my heart beat stop with
life in it.
As sat up on
my bed that morning after the millionth sound of the crow that morning, the
light dashed through my eyes and a cold feeling run through my stomach, a sensation like never before as if a ghost
ran through me.; the feeling reach my soul yet I couldn’t hold it to comprehend
its meaning. As my bare feet touched the cold ground it went numb and I felt it
no more, I made to wiggle but it stood there watching me, I looked up to the
ceiling and my head fell down back on its
own accord, my eyes went north, east, west and south by itself. I closed my
idea rapidly and held it tight to gain control so when I opened it everything
was normal I gain except for the tears that gathered around my eyes itching my eye lids. I moved my feet to the bathroom, When i water splashed on
my face sleep went dripping with it. The moment had come, the moment the skies
wished it would never watch, the hour a tale that would be told for centurt began.
We greeted and
the day began, who was I to know the music I would soon be forced to dance to? I was a mere mortal in the hands of life who only moved to its will.
When I came back and saw him lay there my whole life rushed before my eyes and
hit a brick wall, by blood ran cold and I could feel my heart no longer beat,
goose bumps pop out all over, i was numb to my eyes , I could barely move, the strength I used to
scream I didn’t know where it came from. He was gone I knew it; I just knew he
was no longer here. I could no longer feel the weight his presence carried, a
lion had fallen. The Stripes of the leopard had changed. I didn’t know how to react, if to cry, how to cry but I found
some strength that put me through the wait, to give back to mother earth the
dust she gave the us and to God the soul of his servant, I wanted to talk to
him bit but how could I? I wanted to ask a few but how could i?
Then the moment came for the last words, and then I
wrote a letter, the longest letter I had ever written.
Dear Dad,
I see your signal but it is a fading wave, it
moves my spirit but is that your spirit too? I remember the good times but aren’t
memories not too weak to hold on to? I was too dumb to have understood the
darkness I saw moments before the moment.
The pen I write with shivers as I did that
day, the day I left you for five minutes thinking you were fine was the most
foolish assumption I have ever made and to think I would never be able to
change it is as painful as only I can imagine, my only consolation is that to
be absent in body is to be present with the lord. The fruitless attempt made to
lift you proved that your strength didn’t just lie in your spirit alone but
dust to the earth and spirit to God who gave it
When my young
eyes saw a high tower glowing with darkness its mortal soul felt the hands of
death and it has left me cold to the spine, heavy at heart and with a blow to
the head. You walked the life briskly but when I glance back my tiny hand grasp
a million of memories’ of you,
Your soul was
yanked off from you, I know it, I saw it, but in the end when the fire burn we
would see who burns.
Love
your son
